No longer bound to a medication that makes me sleep like the dead, I've been dreaming lately. Last night, I remember dreaming a lot. Which is weird. I remember even getting up to let my dog out and returning to sleep to dream some more. This is particularly weird for me because, for years (eh, 6 to 8 years maybe) I just really haven't dreamed very much. Or I have seldom had any memory of having dreamed. I finally asked my doc about that, and he said usually I'm sleeping too deeply to dream. But the medication completely solves insomnia and really helps manage other issues, so I'd just live without dreaming.
I've been taking a new form of the same med. And I've been dreaming. I've had lots of dreams about the house I grew up in. Except it hardly resembles that house. We moved there when I was 18 months old. It was my 'home' for 30-odd years -- the place I always went back to. In these dreams I've been having, there are hidden areas in the house. Other people know about these places, but they don't bother to go there. There's nothing really of value in these labyrinths and rooms. But I enjoy exploring. Sometimes, it's pretty creepy, and in my dream, I'm talking to myself about how yetis don't really exist and how the boogieman wouldn't waste his time down in these hallways where nobody goes. What's funny to me (funny weird, not funny ha-ha) is that the same secret areas return dream after dream. Really... if I'm going to create new rooms and hallways and such, why not go all out and re-create Narnia?
The other dream that I remember from last night was surreal in its own ways. But it concerned a friend whose birthday was today. It was a positive, friendly, good dream. (Except when I went into a frantic mode of "Why do I keep spending all my money?! I need to save this money! Still, overall it was a lovely dream.) I don't remember any dreams in which I was running for my life, my pursuer never tiring. None of that! Just reasonably decent dreams. But today, when I woke, I was unspeakably sad. I just wanted to cry and lie in bed. It felt that it was related to dreams... maybe at the time, I had a better memory of some troubling dream. Who knows. What has stuck with me all day, though, is that sadness. Not that I've been sad, just that I've remembered how powerfully heartbroken I was when I woke. Very odd.
This and that.
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